


Through Sleep-Addled Lips

by harlequintessential



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M, Fluffy, Pillow Talk, as these two get
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 10:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8158210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harlequintessential/pseuds/harlequintessential
Summary: A dialogue between the Joker and his harlequin. It's 3 in the morning, and Harley won't shut up. The Clown Prince is getting a little testy. This is about as fluffy as I can get these two assholes. Dialogue only.





	

**Author's Note:**

> [Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah blah blah, some kind of sex joke.]

"Why is it that every damn time I start to fall asleep, you _insist_ on opening your mouth?"

"I'm sorry, Puddin', I just... My brain won't stop buzzing. I can't stop thinking."

"I sincerely doubt that whatever your brain is doing remotely resembles thought."

"Oh... Yessir."

"Any reason other than your apparently ceaseless stupidity?"

"...I like t' hear you talk."

"Aww, Pooh. Your obsession with me knows no bounds. It's pathetically adorable."

"...Thank you?"

"That wasn't a compliment. Now tell me, my dear, what is it that you wanted to hear me expand upon?"

"Why'd ya pick me?"

"What?"

"Outta all your doctahs. You had so many, and for some reason, ya picked me. I don't understand why."

"Christ, Harl, it's been _years_. Get over yourself. What does it matter anymore?"

"I just want to know what made me special."

"Nothing. _Nothing_ made you special, _Harleen_. You aren't special. You never were."

"...O-oh."

"Oh, for God's sakes, stop crying. _Smile_ , Harley, that's the whole joke. I didn't pick you because you were special. I just picked you because I _felt_ like it. I wanted to. There was no real reason. For shits and giggles, princess."

"I don't believe you."

"Oh, you don't, hm?"

"Ow!"

"Stop fucking _crying._ I barely hit you."

"T-tell me."

"I do appreciate your tenacity, Pooh. If you really want to know, I'll tell you."

"Please."

"Because of how weak you were. It was so easy to get you to do what I wanted. I didn't even have to try. Still don't."

"...Oh."

"I told you. It wasn't going to be anything romantic."

"I know."

"Then why do you look so sad, little harlequin?"

"I just... thought it would be more than that. That I was worth more to you than that."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"There was one other reason."

"...What."

"Because you were the only one that was remotely beautiful."

"Oh, _Puddin'_!"

"Heh. Okay, Harleykins, get off of me."

"Do I hafta?"

"Fine. You can stay. But you'll owe me."

"Done~"

"You're so pathetic."

"I love you too, Mistah J."

"Mm. Go to sleep, Pooh."

"Yes, Boss."

"Good girl."

**Author's Note:**

> [Author's Note: R&R, please? For the good of the children?]


End file.
